Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Looks through the peephole.

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What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops