Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Susie has Autism

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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21

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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