Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

World Peace

69

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...