The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A Mexican walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

knock knock go away ok

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops