What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Blarg

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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