What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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