Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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