A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Obama is a good president.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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