Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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4023145287

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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What's so funny about an anti-joke? Nothing.

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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