Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

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weiner? balls

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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What is worse than hell?

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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