What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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ps3

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Looks through the peephole.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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