A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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