I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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The WNBA.

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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antijokes

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops