Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

HARRY EFFING STYLES

knock knock whos there? how should I know?

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Womens rights

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Microsoft Windows

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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