Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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Teen pregnancy

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Can I touch it?

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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Steve Jobs.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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An asian walks out of math class

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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