A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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