Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

69

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops