Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

DOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My Girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops