a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What abou three times

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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