A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Google Doodles

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Left. That one direction...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops