Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +39

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was johny late to school? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops