One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

the your face joke

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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