What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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