Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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shut up

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Time flies like a banana.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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