Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Economy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My Girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Obama-Care

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's so funny about an anti-joke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops