who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the point? A: .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops