Bin Laden is dead.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops