An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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