Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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Du bist mein Kampf

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Women's rights

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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69

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops