Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Steve Jobs.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Someone told me about this website.

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AVI IS A FAG

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Women's rights.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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