Women"s Rights

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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shut up

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops