How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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42.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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