Chuck Norris

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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Looks through the peephole.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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French people

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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Sex. That is all.

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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