- Anti Joke

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

b

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

planking.