How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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I'm Jewish

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Penis in a box.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Star Wars

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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