How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

W.N.B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

BUTTERFARTING

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

thumb_up thumb_down -31

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Boobs are nasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops