Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

Black people are clen.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

A woman gets in her car to drive.

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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