How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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223

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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hi

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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What should I name my dog?

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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hi

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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