Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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69

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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How many dislikes can this get?

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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