why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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AVI IS A FAG

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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Write your own

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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