A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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i hate you.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Can I touch it?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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