what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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Did you know?

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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