What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Women

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Mmmm, donuts

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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69

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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