An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Womens rights

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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suck my dick.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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