Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Someone told me about this website.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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