Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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women's lacrosse.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Patrick is gay

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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