What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Women's rights.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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potato farming

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Did you know?

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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Icecream

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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