why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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