What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Pavel Novak

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Benevolent villain.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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BUTTERFARTING

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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