How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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